Red Faction 2 (more like Red Faction BOOOO, amirite?)

Did you play Red Faction? Probably not, it didn't seem to be that popular despite very positive reviews. Too bad. That shit was great. No key for the door? Fuck that, blow a hole in the wall next to it! Great concept. Fun as hell. I loved that game.

If you didn't play it, however, then you probably dodged a bullet named Red Faction 2. I saw this while doing a bargain bin hunt at the store for 9 bucks in the Playstation 2 section, how could I go wrong when the last one was so awesome?

Wuh.... w..... WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?

Absolutely, positively nothing like the first one. Maybe you could blow holes in walls, I dunno, I never got far enough. I had enough of this shit after about an hour and a half. The combination of finding MDK2 for 3 bucks knowing that was fun and the fact that this game was literally making me feel gay when I played it saw to that. I know that's an odd way to describe a game, but its the best way I can. As I shot half-assed, ugly generic enemies in half-assed, ugly generic levels, all I could think was "this game is fucking gay, and I'm gay for playing it".

I probably should have known what I was in store for when I opened the case, and bam, wedged in on top of the manual was the receipt from the original place this game was bought new at. That's how bad the first victim this game claimed wanted to get rid of it. "Nope, I don't need to see the manual. I don't need to learn how to play, because I know I don't want to." That's the same reaction I had, actually. I knew how to play, but I didn't particularly care.

You ruined the railgun, you bastards. The gun that could see people through like 75 feet of fucking concrete and snipe them in the head through it, the coolest gun ever. You made it suck. You made Red Faction suck. How did this happen so quickly? Its not like I remember the first one being good so I bought Red Faction 9 and was shocked when it sucked, this was the second one. The Red Faction series went downhill quicker than Chuck Norris jokes.

I really don't even know how to comment. The controls are responsive enough, I guess. Not great, but not ridiculous. There was some uninspired storyline about killing some guy that I stopped giving a shit about the moment it was mentioned. The levels I played were boring, metal stairs metal walls metal everything crap, some stupid brainless guys standing in one spot firing occasionally, and I think there was an elevator. Seriously, that's all I can say.

Not the worst game I've ever played (though very, very bad), just an extreme disappointment when the first one set the bar so high. I look at the MDK 2 copy I picked up with it, and hell, that's just as fun as the first one. Why isn't this? I don't know, and quite frankly, after an hour and a half or so of playing, I don't fucking care. This rectangular box of suck will go on the top game shelf with all the other shit I don't care about, and it'll stay there until I move. Even then, I might just leave it there.